is a chipmunk nest.
Here we have the corn. The best in the city. It's delicious.
That is where I get the day-old chips, over in a secret place.
And that is a crazy lady.
So now you got a little taste of what I do.
It's pretty dang exciting, huh?
Ramses!
- How do you know him? - He's the best.
No, he's not.
May I have his autograph?
Please?
Okay. Let me see what I can do.
Ramses.
How are you?
Hi.
I was wondering if the children could get a
signature from you and maybe a picture.
Listen, the kids are orphans.
They like you. You are the best.
This party's gonna be crazy.
I mean, we're gonna be pros.
Feel it.
Go on. I made them.
Go lay down.
Ignacio, I've been looking for you.
- Where have you been? - I've been here.
I've been sleeping.
In a frilly shirt and slacks?
They are my PJs.
Can I come in?
No, people might get the wrong idea about you.
Like maybe you are a floozy.
Ignacio, I was in the kitchen
and there's no food for tomorrow's breakfast.
Don't worry, I'll take care of it.
- But when? - Good night.
Hey, let go my blouse.
We are wrestlers, too. We are invited.
- Give me a boost. - Okay.
Hey. What about me?
I don't think I can lift you.
You are too fat.
Good luck.
Senor Ramon.
- Who are you? - I am Esqueleto, the luchador.
Everybody is a luchador, mi amigo.
I think that me and my friend are ready to go pro.
Ramses, would you like to fight this man in the ring?
So you want to make a name for yourself, horseface?
Win the Battle Jam next week.
The winner will fight Ramses in exhibition
in front of 5,000 people.
Then you will be a pro.
I forgive you.
Come here, soldier.
How did you get up here so fast?
Secret tunnels.
Some say wrestlers make bad lovers.
That they save themselves for the ring.
Huh?
I love you.
Sing!
Sing something for Ramses!
Okay, my friend, this one's yours.
What?
This one yours.
I am singing at the party
I am singing
It's my turn to sing at the party
Everyone is dancing
Happy party
But Ramses is not dancing He does not dance at the parties
Ramses is number one He knows the secrets of desire
Ramses is the one He puts the people all on fire
Ramses
Steven!
Come here.
That party was lame.
I hate that place.
Hey!
Take it easy.
It sucks to be me right now!
- How come? - How come you think?
I used to really like Ramses. I wanted to become him.
But it turns out he's a real douche.
Well, win the Battle Jam this week and you can fight him yourself.
Forget it.
What?
Because I can't go on living a lie.
Earth to Steven.
I'm a friar.
I'm not for that world.
The orphans, they need me, and I have forsaken them.
I got no groceries for breakfast because of you!
I'm sick of hearing about your stupid orphans.
- What did you just say? - I hate orphans.
- Say it again to my face. - I hate them!
Come again?
I hate all the orphans in the whole world.
I'm not listening to you.
You only believe in science. That's probably why we never win.
We never win because you are fat.
Buenos dias, Sister.
So, what you cooking?
Breakfast.
Ignacio, you have a responsibility to these children.
I know.
Well, where have you been?
I've been gone because I had a lot of church-y opportunities lately,
outside of the orphanage.
Like what? Where were you last night?
To tell you the truth, I went to a wrestling match.
You went to watch a wrestling match?
Kind of.
You are a man of the cloth.
Lucha libre, it's a sin.
But why?
Because those men fight for vanity,
for money,
for false pride.
Yes, it's terrible. Terrible.
But is it always a sin to fight?
No.
If you fight for something noble,
or for someone who needs your help,
only then will God bless you in battle.
You must pray for forgiveness.
Excuse me, Ignacio.
Precious Father,
why have you given me this desire to wrestle
and then made me such a stinky warrior?
Have I focused too much on my boots and all my fame and my stretchy pants?
Wait a second.
Maybe you want me to fight and give everything I win
to the little ones who have nothing
so they can have better foods and a better life.
Yeah, maybe that.
Okay, if I win tonight at the Battle Jam,
I will know that you bless my mission
and that you want me to be a wrestling servant of you.
I smell cookies.
Flame! Flame!
No, no, no! No, no, no, no, no!
Roll, you fool!
Flame, flame, flame!
Yes, it's true!
I am Nacho, the luchador.
Who?
Maybe you have seen me on TV.
Nacho!
No. This is forbidden.
I knew it.
He is not a man of God.
Tonight,
I will fight the seven strongest men in town,
maybe the world,
and I will win
because our Heavenly Father will be in the ring with me.
And he and I will win 10,000 pesos.
And with it,
I will buy the orphans a big bus
to go on field trips to parks and places like that.
I'm serious!
Nipple twist!
You can't win them all.
Nacho!
Where are you going?
There is no place for me in this world, Chanchito.
I don't belong out there
and I don't belong in here,
so I'm going into the wilderness,
probably to die.
Well, you might need this.
My mother gave it to me before she died.
It was her lucky machete. You can have it.
I hope to see you again, little Chancho.
Maybe in the next life.
How did you find me here?
I saw you from the village.
I have some news.
Silencio isn't going to be able to fight Ramses.
He got injured.
Silencio bruised his bunions.
They are swollen really hard.
He's not gonna be able to fight tonight.
You were second place.
You get to fight Ramses.
But I have given up wrestling.
Nacho, you are a great fighter.
And you got something none of these guys have.
The childrens need a real hero.
But I thought you hated all the orphans in the whole world.
Not anymore.
I like them.
And they need you, Nacho.
Okay.
Dear Sister, I know you probably hate my guts by now
and already believe that I must have died long ago in the wilderness.
But you are wrong, I'm still alive.
Tonight I'll be fighting the greatest wrestler who ever lived,
the great Ramses.
I know you don't like wrestling,
but know that I am leaving all my monies to the orphans.
And if I die in the ring, know that I always loved you as a brother in God.
Ignacio.
P.S. If we didn't end up taking our vows of celibacy,
we could maybe get married and have a family with some ninos.
But, you know, whatever.
Hug, hug, kiss, kiss,
hug, hug, big kiss,
little hug, kiss, kiss, little kiss.
Ramses is the number one.
His legs are number one.
His eyes are number one.
His muscles are number one.
Ramses is the number one.
While I was in the wilderness
I wrote a song for Encarnacion
in my mind.
- Shall I sing it for you? - Sure.
When the fantasy has ended
And all the children are gone
Something good inside me
Helps me to carry on
I ate some bugs I ate some grass
I used my hand To wipe my tears
To kiss your mouth I'd break my vow
No, no, no No, no, no way, Jose
Unless you want to
Then we'd break our vows together
Encarnacion
They are ready for you now.
Nacho! Nacho! Nacho!
Maybe we should pray.
Dear Lord, please bless Nacho with nutrients and strength.
- Amen. - Amen.
Ramses! Ramses! Ramses! Ramses!
Ramses! Ramses!
High five.
Take it easy.
Go, go, go, go, go.
Nacho! Nacho! Nacho! Nacho!
Nacho! Nacho!
Okay. Vertebrae kick!
Timber!
I did it!
Hey! We did it!
Yes!
- Yes! - Yes!
Yes!